Karakura Wars, Episode 4: A Traitor Among Us

In the marvelous and often incoherent world of Bleach. There are many side stories.
When battles of life and death occur. We might find our beloved side characters running around in a mocking display of Sentai goodness.
Or our beloved scientist and all around annoying blonde of a shinigami. Forcing innocent kids into deadly suits to fight parodied villains for mild entertainment while preparing for war.

This is yet another of those pointless but amusing side stories. Which follows the likes of the Karakura Super heroes. Or Super Sentai as i prefer. and Konso Cop Karakurizer!
Or as i prefer. Kamen Raizer! Because unlike Kubo. I do not fear the deadly side of copyright. With that said. Let us begin this goofy parody of a parody of something simulating actual action and entertainment.
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It has been but a few shy months since the end of the epic one day battle that is somehow claimed to be a war against the diabolical Sosuke Aizen and his Arrancar army.
Our young and bland Mary Sue known as Ichigo Kurosaki fought valiantly to defeat Aizen and save the world. Only to be shown up by Urahara anyway and still called a hero.

Still Ichigo sacrificed his power to stop the would be god and was now deserving a powerless life as a normal teenager. His happy lifestyle hid a deep seeded yearning for action that could have been seen as character development. But none of you care about that. Instead were going to focus on some goofy antics from his kid sisters and friends.
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"Tch.. another one." Came the disgruntled remark of the ebony haired twin of the Kurosaki household as she tucked her ever present football under her arm. (soccer ball for you bloody Americans.. including myself XP)  "Those hollow things just keep popping up. And Ichigo can't even see them anymore."

With a sigh as she cast the ball to her side and plopped onto the couch. Her barely younger sister popped her head out. "Lunch will be ready soon Karin-chan! Could you go get Ichi-ni?" She asked with a cute pouty face she knew for sure that Karin would be unable to resist. "Yeah yeah i'll do it. Just quit making that face or it'll get stuck that way."
She puffed out with an offhanded wave and scampered upstairs. Only to find her Ichigo lieing back listening to music and reading the Shounen Jump. Or possibly Yaoi. One can never be sure. 

But given the look on his face she was quick to go down stairs as he shut his door. " I don't think Ichigo will be joining us. He's...busy." She jutted out with a small blush as Yuzu began to whine. "Awww. But i wanted us to eat lunch as a family. All 3 of us."

Looking to her dad's empty seat she sighed rubbing her head. "So when do you think Pops will get out of jail?" She asked as she took her seat. " I dunno. But i know we are never visiting America again. How could they arrest Daddy like that? all he did was take a bath with us in public." Yuzu looked on in concern before serving the food. " ah he'll be fine. He has gotten out of tighter stuff." Karin spoke with reassurance. 

Suddenly Karin whipped her head around to the window as she felt the presence of yet another hollow. "Grrr damnit! I am sick of this!" She yelled out while knocking her chair over. Startling Yuzu. " Those stupid monsters just keep popping up and those shinigami guys aren't doing jack about it. If Ichigo can't do anything. It's gonna have to be us."

She spoke with determination as she grabbed her shoes and gear while Yuzu looked confused. " But what about lunch? And what are you gonna do?"
"Just pack it up. I'd rather you be with me in case anything were to happen. Ichi-ni will be fine either way."  Turning away with a bit of annoyance she slowly spoke her next words.
"As for what were doing... we have no choice. Were gonna have to reform the Karakura Superheroes."
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Meanwhile outside of Urahara's "candy shop". A disgruntled Jinta was angrily sweeping at nothing while muttering obscenities to himself. " I can't believe that stupid hat and clogs would do this to me. It was bad enough when he made that stupid team filled with carrot top's useless friends and gave them cool powers. But then he invites Ururu to join and makes me his damn assistant! I'm way better than dumb ol Ururu!" He screamed out while swinging the broom like a bat against a post and breaking it.

A look of fear sprang to his face. "Ah crap. That big hulking Glasses bastard will crush my nuts if he found out i broke the broom!" In a panic. He failed to notice the arrival of the Kurosaki twins. Watching him dart back and forth in fear as he grabbed for the duct tape.
"Jinta-kun why are you talking to yourself?" Yuzu asked curiously as she poked at him. Getting a startled yelp from the flame headed youth as he fell backwards.

"Ahh don't stomp on my dangly bits Tessai-sama!!" Came Jinta's terrified shriek before noticing who was before him as he quickly jumped up to compose himself.
"Huh. oh... it's just you two. What are you doing here.?" He asked curiously as he was not so much bothered by Yuzu's presence as he was his red rival.

"Yeah whatever. Where is Ururu? We need her help with that Karakura Sentai crap so we can stop these damn monsters." Karin barked out impatiently.
"Ururu? What the hell do you want her for when you have me? The true leader of the team and Karakura red!" He spoke out pointedly as he struck his mighty pose. only to be shut down by Karin while Yuzu clapped politely at his display.

"I don't need a bat swinging baka like you! We know Ururu is the real muscle here. besides me of course." Karin snidely replied back pointing at herself as Jinta glared and got in her face. "You wouldn't know real talent if it crawled up your butt and laid eggs in your brain!"

The continuous arguement that quickly devolved into repeated hitting and the word baka being flung back and forth lead Yuzu to look around curiously. " Hmm I wonder if this is a specialty shop." She thought to herself as she suddenly felt a furry tail brush against her leg. " Huh.. ooooh a kitty!" Yuzu said excitedly as she picked up the elegant black cat and began to swing her around. Even stopping to look into it's eyes. seeing how serious and mischivous. she smiled in awe. 
"Wow.. you remind me of Raku. i'm going to call you Kuroi then!" (Kuroi=black)
She exclaimed in happiness as she tucked the poor cat in her arms.
 Back with Karin and Jinta however. the arguement turned dark.

"Your wasting your time anyway. Ururu's not here and she won't join you!" Jinta yelled out in anger as Karin looked at him with rapt curiosity. " Well why not? Where is she?" 
"Cause she's!.." Jinta stopped himself as an idea crossed his mind and he had to fight back a devious little smirk. Schooling his features he began to look on in panic.

"Because she's been kidnapped and brainwashed by evil alien monster dopplegangers!" He yelled out in a panic that got a bewildered look from Karin and even Yuzu who looked away from playing with her new kitty companion.

"What do you mean she's been kidnapped? Aliens?" Came Karin's astonished reply.
"What the hell are you talking about baka?" Sketicism was all over Karin's face as she glared at Jinta supiciously. Yuzu however fell right into line.

"Oh no! poor Urururu-chan! We have to rescue her, who knows what those bad aliens are doing to her!" Vivid thoughts of Ururu enduring unheard of tortures plagued the 11 year old's mind as Jinta capitalized on this.

"Yeah she got grabbed by this evil alien imposter of your brother and was brainwashed into taking part in an invasion of earth. You just missed them. they uhm.. Got me with this brain ray thing that made me see things right when you got here!" He finished with a confident nod. Fully believing he had them fooled.

Karin however just stared at him as if he was retarded. " You must think we are as stupid as you if you actually think we would believe that nonsense-" She was quickly pulled aside by a concerned Yuzu. "Karin-chan we have to save her! come on!" She began to tug on her sister's arm amidst Karin's protest.

"Yuzu i don't think.." Any protest was quelled as Jinta was quick to move them along.
"Yeah let's hurry. Who knows what they are doing to her." He spoke out in mock concern.

In Yuzu's arms however the hushed tones of her new feline companion spoke into her communicator collar. " You get all that Kisuke?" The tanned flash goddess Yoruichi asked her former subordinate. "Yup i did. Let's see where this goes. Things have been much too boring lately.
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On the other side of town. A battle was raging between the Kamen Rizers.
The brunt of the action carried out by it's stronger members. While the likes of Keigo and Chizuru stood to the side trembling from the former and cheering from the ladder.
Tatsuki continued to make short work of the multitude of smaller hollows with her firely kicks and punches while Ururu and Kon took to the air with an acrobatic display of flips and kicks that would make any ranger/sentai wet themselves in awsomeness.

"Why am i even still here? I don't want to fight. i can't fight and i don't want to die!" Keigo whined from the sidelines while Chizuru jumped and cheered. " Yeah kick their asses Rizers! I'll take care of that poor girl.." The lecherous gaze of the bespeckled teen reached a zenith as she began to "comfort the soul of the plus sized plus. cuddling her massive rack in her hands. Much to her distain. 

"Aiiiee i'd rather deal with the monsters than this eechii!!"
As Kon continued his ariel battle. He posed a question to Urahara via their communicators.
"Hey clog and hat dude. Why did you make me a gigai that looks exactly like Ichigo anyway" Ajjusting to his new body. he finished the last of his air born foes and decended. looking for more. 

"Why for the sake of the audience. You can't just go and replace your hero with someone else. That would just be confusing for your fans." Urahara chided as Kon looked at his watch in confusion. " What the hell do you mean fans? It's bad enough your making me do this crap as payment for staying here. I can't believe after everything i've done for him. Ichigo would just kick me out like that."

Kon continued to sulk at the memory of Ichigo trying to distance himself from anything related to spirits and had sent Kon to Urahara with the rest of the mod souls. Least for the time being.

As this continued nonsense went on. Karin, Yuzu, and Jinta arrived to behold the spectacle. "Oh wow. Look at the flying guy with the rocket. That is so cool" Was all Yuzu could say as the hollows present were invisible to her.

"Oh man is that Don Kanoji? Is he videotaping this crap? Surely he must realise the camera won't pick those hollows up." Came Karin's observation as the familiar "Bohahahhahaa" Could be heard as he streaked by, narrating for the camera.

"Will you two quit looking in awe? We have to get Ururu from those bad aliens and free her from the brainwashing." Jinta commanded as he took his stance. "Karakura Red is on the case for justice!" He spoke out in pose as he prepared to dash out. Only to be pulled back by Karin. 

"You idiot. If these guys are strong enough to get Ururu. We need a plan. And it's Karakura Sentai red i said!" Pressing on her arguement as they took notice of Kon yelling into his transformation watch. "Holy crap it really is Ichi-ni... You were telling the truth."
Karin could only stare in shock as Yuzu repeated her words.
"Ichi-ni has been brainwashed by cosplayers? Noooooooo!" She cried out as a stream of tears pooled around her.

As Jinta was prepared to move out again he fell face first as Karin yanked on his new cape. " I said wait you idiot. Hold on a sec." Looking carefully she took notice with her binoculars. " No way.. Is that Tatsuki? They got her too.. We gotta retreat. She is way too strong for us to beat. She even beat my brother before!"

Karin held a strong memory of Tatsuki. As she had been around practically since they could remember. She quickly made to run away. Jinta dragging to stop her.
" We can't run. No way can some girl stop "Home Run Jinta"!" He postured while Karin was quick to push him anyway.

Karin would hear none of it as she dragged them away and pondered.
"No way. You don't know her like i do. We need help. And i think i know just the guy..."
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A short time later the tall tanned giant of Mexican heritage known as Sado or Chad. Along side the curvy naive and good natured Orihime. Stood before the Karakura Sentai.
Decked out in bright colors from whatever they could find by rummaging through the Kurosaki closet. They looked on in disbelief.

"An alien clone of Ichigo is brainwashing people to start an invasion?"  Chad repeated for what seemed like the 50th time as he let Yuzu turn him into a mannequin to dress.
Orihime however was quick to follow in the ruse. "This is just terrible. We have to help them Sado-kun!" She spoke emphaticly and pleaded with her muscular friend.

"Hmm yes. We should atleast look into it." He gave a stiff nod while looking at his new attire with questionable concern. "Though i don't understand why we need to dress like this."

"Isn't it obvious? They are making a team. So we gotta have an equal team to beat them back. It's the rules. duh." Karin and Jinta found one point they could agree on as they stood ready. "Come on, let's go beat the aliens and save the day Karakura Sentai!"
The Kids shouted together with Inoue chiming in as Chad simply sweatdropped and followed along.
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Back with the Rizers. The glorious shout of RI-ZER-BEAM! Could be heard as the final hollow was vanquished in a bright flash of energy. As the team congratulated themselves on a job well done. A shout and explosion made them turn to what could be a new enemy.

"Hold it right there spawns of villany! Your evil from beyond the stars is not wanted here!"
The shadows began to grow as the voices started to come. "We will not allow you to bring harm to our peaceful town. Justice must be served. For i am Sentai Red!"

Karin Jumped down taking her pose. Only to be yelled at by Jinta. " You idiot! Red is supposed to come out last as the leader... uhm i mean continue..."
"Bad people won't be tolerated here. Give back Ururu-chan and our friends! I'm Karaku.. i mean Sentai Yellow!" Came Yuzu who tried her best to look tough. But only came out more adorable as she held out Yoruichi and tired to make her claws come out and pawed them intimidatingly.

"From the darkness of night where mega robots with squiggly laser beams of brilliant white hot justice will rain down upon you with futuristic spaghetti ropes of entrapment. I am...Red bean paste with wasabi sauce!" Came Orihime's oddly descriptive speech as she posed with the most serious face.

"I'm.... Sado." Came the simple reply from a sweat dropping Chad as he stared out at this nonsense. 
"And i am the real Karakura super sentai super hero red! You fools messed with the wrong team!" Came Jinta's declaration as a final explosion came from some fireworks Jinta had grabbed from Yoruichi's stash. Given to her by Kukaku.

"What the hell is this? You set up some goofy test for us after all this hat and clog bastard?" Kon asked at Tatsuki stood ready to fight before noticing her would be opponents. "What are Ichigo's sisters doing here? And is that you Orihime?"
She asked in utter confusion as Orihime replied in turn.

"Tatsuki-chan? Your an evil alien... it can't be. I won't fight you.." Inoue's shocked stance came as she looked on in horror at her so called brainwashed friend.
"Oh my.. Hime-chan!!! You've come to see me in action!" Chizuru was quick to run forward and glomp Orihime. Suddenly entering her Hyper erotic mode and began to molest the orange haired angel.

"Ahh nooooo Chizuru-chan ahahaha that tickles!" She squealed and moaned as Karin was quick to run forward. " You evil imposter! How dare you pose as my brother!" She kicked a ball at him he was quick to dodge. " What the hell is going on!!?" He was quick to jump in the air as Keigo looked around in fear and spotted Chad, " No way... we have to fight Chad??? I'm outta here!!!" Keigo quickly made a beeline for home with his enhanced speed.

" It's time to bring this to an end Ururu!" Jinta went with a swing that was quickly dodged as she held him off with ease. " What are you doing Jinta-kun? Boss will scold you for being away from the store." She chided with a blank expression as she avoided his movements.

Any further kickass action moments would suddenly be brought to an end before any harm would come to either side as Yuzu suddenly felt sleepy and gently set aside as the feline form of Yoruichi quickly dashed around faster than anyone could take in and systematically knocked out several members of the group. Including Kon, Tatsuki, Ururu, Chizuru and even Orihime.

Youruichi was quick to hide herself as Urahara appeared before the group clapping.
"My my . you all fought brillantly Karakura Sentai. You defeated those bad people with ease." He grinned behind his fan. Trying not to break character as they all looked up questionly. Jinta sweating bullets as Chad was about to openly question him. Only to get a stern look to quiet himself.

"Hey who the hell are you supposed to be?" Karin questioned as she pondered how everyone was defeated. "Oh me. I am a humble scientist who has been monitoring these evil aliens and have come to offer my assistance. Come to my underground base and we will try to help these poor souls.

He with Chad's help quickly picked up the girls and brought them along while causally concealing Kon beneath his invisibly cloak. " Oh my. That dastardly imposter of Kurosaki-kun has escaped. Quickly we must go before he returns." He called out with mock urgency as they quickly left. Karin also fretting over the unconcious but unharmed Yuzu.
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In the confines of a private cell. Ururu awakened slowly with her arms bound overhead. Her legs trapped in strong stocks and her sandals set neatly to the side as she blinked in surprise and ajusted to the dim light. " Huh.. who is there? Boss? Jinta-kun? Why does this look like our basement with a rush job to make it look like a spooky cell?"

She called out calmly as she took notice of wet paint and chips from the obviously faked enviorment. her wonder would end when Jinta slowly exposed himself. " Well well. Finally awake are we. Traitor!" He spat out as he approached her. Smirking none the less.

"Jinta-kun, Why am i tied up like this? Tessai is going to scold you again if he finds out."
She expressed ever calmly as Jinta's smirk widened. " Ohoho but that is just it Ururu. This time they are on my side. and it's your turn to share in the punishment."

Her normally blank eyes widened slightly when she saw a long stiff feather in his hand.
Running it over his hand he neared her. " Jinta-kun.. you aren't going to do what i think you are... are you?" She asked with a slight gulp as Jinta continued to snicker evily.

"Oh I don't know. You tell me. I can't do anything to hurt you... But i can make you smile. heh heh heh." Slowly the feather was set and began to stroke along Ururu's pale twitching sole and her normal blushed cheeks grew a shade redder.
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Tatsuki found herself stripped of her gear and tied in a strong X pattern. With her arms and legs bound and stretched. Dressed only in her under clothing of black spandex shorts and a sports bra. She tried to cover her eyes from the bright light. But found her bound position and yelled out in protest.

"Hey what the hell is this!? Let me out of this if you know what's good for you or i'm going to start breaking bones!" Tatsuki threatened to no one til she heard a cough in the corner.
"You will do no such thing Tatsuki. If that really is who you are. Either way your going to tell me everything you know about these aliens or your going to regret it."

Straining her neck. She turned to see the determined face of Karin glaring at her as she approached. "Karin? What the hell are you going on about? get me out this already. This is really annoying." She spoke as she tried to plead with Karin. Only to be met with a glare.

Don't think you can fool me with your tricks. You may sound like Tatsuki. But you probably just probed her mind to know what she would say. Wel let's see how you stand up to the human race's greatest weakness." She spoke out with a look of utter fury as she didn't even bother teasing. She went straight for gut as her short nails began to dig into Tatsuki's taunt stomach muscles. "grr... quihiht.. Don't do that.. damnit" 

Tatsuki's face twisted in fury as she fought to fight down her smile.
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"Oh i've been captured by the enemy.. Oh woe is me. What sort of unspeakable torture will you place upon me my dear Hime" Came the lusting call of Chizuru as she lay back in what would be similar to an inversion board. Her soles upward and fronted as she lay in her bra and panties. Fully expecting her tormentor to lavish her in some naughty fashion as she always imagined.

"Oh i think i can make this very enjoyable for you Chizuru-san." Came the cheerful reply of Urahara as he approached closely enough for her to see him.
"Oh hell no! Where is my Hime to interrogate me till i cry in pain and bliss? Get away from me you goofy vagabond geezer!" Chizuru shouted and struggled to get loose. 

"My apologizes. But Inoue-san is preoccupied at the moment. But i can assure you. I can be just as entertaining." pondering to himself while ignoring her shouts of protest. He dawned little scratching nails adorned his fingers as he looked upon her soles.

"Now then it has been a very long time since i ever practiced the Koto. (Japanese lap harp)
But let's see if you can produce as lovely a melody." With a gleeful smile. He began to scratch at her soles in their upward position. Poking and probing at her toes, scratching at the arch. earning different octaves as he began his concert.

"Ehehehehe quit tihihikling my toes you pervert! yeheheheahahahaha not my behehutiful feeeet!" Came Chizuru's melodious giggles as she was terrible at repressing her laughter.
"How delightful. Let's see which of you sings better. You or my Benehime."
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"Oh no! Have i been taken to the mothership?! I wonder if alien food is any good. Hey can i use the bathroom? Do aliens have bathrooms?" 
Orihime's rapid fire questions came due to her awakening to darkness. Thanks to a blindfold set over her eyes. Yoruichi stood off to the side. Amused at her line of questioning as she leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"You aren't in space. But i do think your brain may have gone into orbit." Yoruichi chuckled in her deep intoxicating tone as Inoue was quick to pick up on it.
"Yoruichi-san? Is that you? Were you captured too? What is going on?"
She continued to naive but adorable questioning as Yoruichi set a finger to hush her.

"Calm down Orihime. This is just part of the game. We couldn't let Karin get to you. and you froze up so she thought you were brainwashed too. We can't ruin the fun just yet. So i took you with me so we could get reacquainted."

With mirth in her voice she pressed her bare chest against Orihime's bare back. the Large chested orangette being clad in her bra and panties as well.
"You know Orihime-chan.. I had a lovely chat with Rangiku the last time she was here.
She told me about her time with you. I never would have guessed you were soooo.. ticklish." Pulling her mouth away from Inoue's ear she quickly grasped her sides gaining a squeal.

"Aahahah no Yourichi-san please. It tickles ahahehehha"
"Oh it's going to do a lot more than that before were done Hime"
Came Yoruichi's purr. Oh the night was young indeed.

The end!